Affair Withdrawal: Are You Ready To Stop Hurting?
If you’ve recently ended an affair…
If you’ve recently ended an affair or, you’re trying to end an affair, then you’re probably familiar with the pain and emptiness of ‘affair’ withdrawal. What you’re feeling is normal, and the feelings you’re experiencing are very real. But it’s important that you don’t misinterpret the thoughts and feelings that you’re experiencing during this time.
An affair is often a wake-up call. Sometimes it can be a wake-up call to…
An affair is often a wake-up call. Sometimes it can be a wake-up call to what’s happening (or not happening) in our primary relationship. But mostly, it’s just a wake-up call; a call for us to stop living on auto-pilot. In other words, the affair can be a catalyst that moves you into a new and higher level of thinking and ‘being’ in the world. So the big wake-up call is actually a call to become more – ALIVE.
Think about that for a moment. Isn’t that one of things you loved most about the affair; it made you feel ALIVE? Unfortunately, most people miss the call and become less rather than more conscious, because they get ‘stuck’ in their heads, and ‘stuck’ in their emotions.
You’ve probably heard someone say one of the following statements, “My husband’s/wife’s affair brought me and my spouse closer together.” Or, “My “husband’s/wife’s affair was the best thing that ever happened to me.” Or, “My affair was the best thing that ever happened to me.”
People say these things because they were able to integrate the affair (or their spouse’s betrayal) into ‘one’ of ‘many’ of their life experiences; without letting the affair or the betrayal define them, or become a part of their identity; instead, the affair or the betrayal becomes more like a course they took in a ‘life’ master class, that was ultimately worth the hefty price they paid for taking the course.
We delay or miss the ‘aha’ moments from our experiences when we hit the pause button on our lives to ‘wait’…
Ironically, we delay or miss the ‘aha’ moments from our experiences when we hit the pause button on our lives to ‘wait’ for the big, breakthrough moment, where we’ll suddenly have everything all figured out.
Unfortunately, that’s how we get ‘stuck’ in our heads and stuck’ in our emotions – it happens because we hit the pause button. We stop living our lives and instead retreat into our minds to analyze and sort through our feelings. But this only increases our confusion and prolongs our suffering. In addition, we often use our confusion as a scapegoat to keep things the same. For example, in the case of infidelity or an affair, we often use our confusion an excuse to keep cheating.
In fact, women in limbo usually believe that it’s “okay” to keep cheating on their husbands as long as they’re confused. In other words, being confused somehow makes cheating ‘not count’ in their minds.
It doesn’t matter which choice you make, there’s no way around the pain.
It helps when women realize that there’s no way around the pain. It doesn’t matter which choice you make: stay married; get divorced; keep cheating; every choice will involve the experience of painful emotions. But painful emotions aren’t something we need to be afraid of; and the opposite is also true, too. We don’t need to be afraid of letting go of our pain either; and unfortunately, that’s what women are often holding onto during and after affair – the pain. The pain gives the affair MEANING. The pain is what makes the affair so special or significant to women. So women have to be ready to ‘stop’ hurting in order to make it through the withdrawal from an affair. This, however, can be incredibly difficult for women, because women not only equate love with longing – they enjoy longing. In fact, that’s one of the main appeals of an affair for women – it’s all the feelings of love, without, well, anything else.
If you haven’t read the Women’s Infidelity books, that’s where you need to start. You’ll learn why it’s so hard for women to end and get over their affairs.
#1 Source For Information About Female Infidelity
Women’s Infidelity: Living In Limbo
Learn the REAL reasons women cheat, and:
• Why women lose sexual desire for their husbands
• Why women are more likely than men to become addicted to affair sex
• Why marriage and fidelity can actually be MORE difficult for women than it is for men
• Why women have such a hard time getting over their affairs emotionally and psychologically
• Why women overwhelmingly initiate the majority of all divorces – even when they’re married to good men
• Why and how men unknowingly make the problem worse by doing the opposite of what they need to do to save their marriages
Women’s Infidelity II: Breaking Out Of Limbo
Learn how to understand your feelings for your husband, and:
• How to know if your feelings for the other man are real
• How to understand your feelings for your husband – what it really means when you say, “I love him, but I’m not “in” love with him
• How to know if there’s a possibility for a future with the other man
• How to stop your circular thinking
• How to end your confusion and move forward in 7 clearly defined steps
• Men: Learn how women process infidelity. Find out exactly what your wife is thinking and feeling
Get The Information You Need To Move Forward