April 3, 2006
No Really, You Can Tell Me;
I Promise I Won’t Get Mad:
Why Men Are Reneging On Their
Promises, Just Like Women: Part
2
By Michelle Langley
Immediately after Chris angrily stomped off (I can’t be
certain, but I think he wanted me to chase after him) another guy who I didn’t
know sat down next to me. This guy appeared to be very angry; however, I hadn’t
said anything yet so I knew he couldn’t be pissed at me.
As I was getting up to leave he touched my arm and said, “Do
you see that girl right there? I bought her a drink. She said she couldn’t
stay and talk to me because she had to leave to meet her girlfriend. When I
asked her for her phone number she said she didn’t have a phone. That was an
hour ago. Now she’s sitting at a table right in front of me talking on a cell
phone that I watched her pull out of her fucking purse! Why do women have to
lie like that? Why don’t they get some balls and just tell guys the truth?”
This guy was obviously very upset.
Not too long ago, I had a conversation about this very thing
with one of my female friends. My friend asked me one night while we were out,
if she had to go over and speak to a guy who had just bought her a drink. When
I told her that she did, she said, “He offered to buy you a drink too and I
don’t see you going over there to talk to him.” I said, “I didn’t want to go
over there and talk to him; that’s why I said, ‘No’ to the drink.” Reluctantly,
my friend went over and talked to the guy.
I have always felt bad for males who bought drinks for
females because I knew the majority of the time, the females weren’t interested
in anything other than the free drink.
However, it finally dawned on me that males typically only
buy drinks for females in order to get something
─ an audition, so to speak. Males
hope females will feel obligated to talk to them for a few minutes after buying
them a drink because they’re hoping to make females like them in those few
minutes. So, both males and females can be equally manipulative in the game of
“Can I buy you a drink?”
Before I left the bar that night, I asked the guy who was so
angry if he really would have preferred to hear the truth. He said,
“Absolutely, I would always prefer to hear the truth.” I think the guy wouldn’t
have been as angry if the girl would have just declined his offer for a drink,
but I think there’s a strong possibility that he would have been just as angry
if the girl would have told him the truth
─ the truth that she just
wasn’t attracted to him.
In my opinion, males should
never buy females drinks, because the truth is, when a
female is attracted to a male, the male doesn’t have to buy the female a drink
in order to talk to her. In fact, sometimes the male doesn’t even have to
approach the female ─
she’ll approach him. So guys, keep your money in your pocket; I know it’s not
nice for females to accept free drinks when they’re not interested in you, but I
also don’t think it’s very nice to try and bribe or
guilt someone into talking to you either.
