How To Forgive Your Wife's Affair. The Real Reasons You're Struggling To Forgive Your Wife For Cheating On You Might Be Different From What You Think. (Part 1)
Are You Struggling To Forgive Your Wife For Cheating?
There are two types of betrayed men —> betrayed men who are desperate to get their wives to recommit to the marriage and betrayed men whose wives have already recommitted to the marriage.
Betrayed men whose wives have already recommitted to the marriage, know something that betrayed men who are in pursuit of a commitment, don’t know. Betrayed men whose wives have already recommitted, know that getting a commitment from their wives, doesn’t change anything.
Why Getting Your Wife To Recommit To The Marriage Doesn’t Change Anything
Getting your wife to recommit to the marriage doesn’t take away the pain of being cheated on; it doesn’t take away your insecurities about your wife cheating on you again; and it doesn’t make you STOP THINKING about your wife’s betrayal.
In fact, getting a commitment from your wife can actually make things worse for you instead of better, in terms of “thinking” about their wife’s betrayal; because men in pursuit of a commitment are focused on winning their wives back, so they have something “other” than their wife’s betrayal to focus on. Betrayed men, whose wives have already recommitted, don’t have that luxury — instead, their minds are hyper-focused “on” the betrayal itself.
If this is the situation that you’re currently in, then you know exactly what I’m talking about. Your mind has become your worst enemy — and you’re literally being tormented by the thoughts and pictures in your head from the time you wake up in the morning until the time you go to bed at night. And worse still, you can’t even shut it off when you sleep — because you can’t sleep.
So, how do you forgive your wife for cheating on you, when you can’t stop thinking about her cheating on you?
First, accept the reality of your situation. The reality of your situation is—you can’t stop thinking about your wife cheating on you. So accept that this is where you are now and stop trying to change or resist it. As Carl Jung noted “what you resist not only persists, but will grow in size.”
Second, even if your thinking has run amok, keep in mind that your mind is trying to help you — because your mind’s job is to help you solve problems. So consider the possibility that you can’t stop thinking about your wife betraying you for a reason. For example, maybe you can’t forgive your wife because, on some level, you know you can’t trust her — and not forgiving her is a form of self protection. Or, maybe you can’t forgive your wife because infidelity is a deal breaker for you; and therefore, staying with your wife is a form of self betrayal. Or there’s another possibility. Maybe you just need to learn how to use your mind, so you can stop being used by it.
Third, deal with the root issue first —> the root issue is what I just mentioned. You don’t know how to get your mind working for you, instead of against you. So learning how to use your mind is essential. As Eckhart Tolle tells us in The Power of Now, the mind is a superb instrument if it’s used correctly, but when it’s used incorrectly, it becomes very destructive. Tolle writes, “To put it more accurately, it is not so much that you use your mind wrongly—you usually don’t use it at all. It uses you…The instrument has taken you over.”
Four, make a conscious decision to do the “simple things” that harmonize your mind, like going for a walk (particularly in nature) or any activity that moves you into a flow state (activities that you enjoy and require concentration are the most likely to move you into a flow state).
Do An Honest Assessment. Is Your Thinking Tangled In Knots?
Do an honest assessment to determine whether you believe you can untangle the issues on your own. If you believe your thoughts are too tangled together — don’t put off getting the support you need. Contact Ashley to learn more about scheduling a consultation.
If you haven’t read the Women’s Infidelity books, that’s where you need to start. You’ll find out exactly what your wife is thinking, feeling and planning—so you can stop analyzing—and stop operating from a mindset that leads to divorce. Note: All book orders include a FREE COPY of “Save Your Marriage Now!” (For Men).
Recommended By Counselors And Therapists All Over The World
Women’s Infidelity: Living In Limbo
Learn The REAL Reasons Women Cheat, And:
• Why women lose sexual desire for their husbands
• Why women are more likely than men to become addicted to affair sex
• Why marriage and fidelity can actually be MORE difficult for women than it is for men
• Why women have such a hard time ending and getting over their affairs
• Why women overwhelmingly initiate the majority of all divorces – even when they’re married to good men
• Why and how men unknowingly make the problem worse by doing the opposite of what they need to do to save their marriages
Women’s Infidelity II: Breaking Out Of Limbo
Learn How To Sort Through Your Feelings:
• How to know if your feelings for the other man are real
• How to understand your feelings for your husband – what it really means when you say, “I love him, but I’m not “in” love with him
• How to know if there’s a possibility for a future with the other man
• How to stop your circular thinking
• How to end your confusion and move forward in 7 clearly defined steps
• Men: This book is for you, too. In this book you’ll learn how women process infidelity. Find out exactly what your wife is thinking and feeling
Order Women’s Infidelity Now! … Find Out Why It’s So Hard For Women To End And Get Over Their Affairs