Are You Afraid That Your Feelings For Your Affair Partner Will Change? Why Women Are So Afraid Of Trusting Their Feelings During An Affair.
Can You Trust Your Feelings?
If you’re like most women during an affair, you’re afraid that your feelings for your affair partner will change. In fact, this is one of women’s women’s primary concerns during an affair; and it’s one of women’s primary concerns for a reason.
Most women have been starry eyed and head over heels for a man, and then, not so much = their feelings change; sometimes their feelings change overnight, and other times, their feelings just fade away slowly.
But the bottom line is most women have had this happen to them, at least once, if not multiple times in their lives. So women’s concern over their feelings changing is a concern that’s very much rooted in reality.
The real issue, however, isn’t that your feelings will change; because your feelings will change. That’s just what feelings do; they shift and change. The real issue for so many women is that they don’t just read too much into their feelings, they read everything into their feelings, at least when it comes to chemistry.
For example, a lot of women will overlook mistreatment and all types of bizarre behavior from men, if they feel chemistry; and likewise, they’ll completely dismiss kind genuine and gestures when they don’t feel chemistry.
Unfortunately, women usually don’t understand what actually triggers chemistry. In fact, it’s not uncommon for women to say things like, “I don’t know what it is, there’s just something about him” when they’re talking to friends and family about the men they’re attracted to.
However, the “chemistry” feeling that women enjoy so much is mostly triggered by fear. In other words, women are the most likely to feel intense chemistry for men who they sense, on an unconscious level, might hurt them.
Sadly, women often judge the “rightness” of a partner based on how much chemistry they feel; and yet, chemistry should actually be viewed quite differently as David Richo tells us in his book, How To Be An Adult In Relationships. Richo writes,
“As adolescents, we were taught that the way to tell we are in love is by our loss of control, our loss of will, and a compelling sense that we could not have done otherwise. This falling in love contrasts with the reality of rising in love with conscious choice, sane fondness, intact boundaries, and ruthless clarity…We may strongly believe in the specialness of our exciting relationship. We say, “It’s never been this thrilling,” I’ve never had sex like this,”…or the now popular ”We were together in a former life.” These are all the bells and whistles we thought meant, “It’s true love so go for it!” Actually sentiments like these are the alarms that tell us to be careful and point to where our work is rather than a shortcut through our work.”
In the not so distant future, “chemistry” will be viewed very differently from the way it is today; and as a result, men and women won’t be so seduced by the feeling.
So if you’re thinking about leaving your husband, it’s important to consider how chemistry is factoring into your decision to divorce. If you want to end your marriage for the fantasy of feeling lifelong chemistry with another person, you’ll be disappointed; because the feelings you have now won’t last. But you already know that (that’s why you’re in limbo). You’re in limbo because you’re trying to hold on to feelings that you already know are going to change for as long as you can.
If you haven’t read the Women’s Infidelity books, that’s where you need to start. You’ll learn why it’s so hard for women to end and get over their affairs…. and the 7 steps you must take to “Break Out Of Limbo!”
Recommended By Counselors And Therapists All Over The World
Women’s Infidelity: Living In Limbo
Learn The REAL Reasons Women Cheat
• Why women lose sexual desire for their husbands
• Why women are more likely than men to become addicted to affair sex
• Why marriage and fidelity can actually be MORE difficult for women than it is for men
• Why women have such a hard time getting over their affairs emotionally and psychologically
• Why women overwhelmingly initiate the majority of all divorces – even when they’re married to good men
• Why and how men unknowingly make the problem worse by doing the opposite of what they need to do to save their marriages
Women’s Infidelity II: Breaking Out Of Limbo
Learn How To Sort Through Your Feelings:
• How to know if your feelings for the other man are real
• How to understand your feelings for your husband – what it really means when you say, “I love him, but I’m not “in” love with him
• How to know if there’s a possibility for a future with the other man
• How to stop your circular thinking
• How to end your confusion and move forward in 7 clearly defined steps
• Men: This book is for you, too. In this book, you’ll learn how women process infidelity. Find out exactly what your wife is thinking, feeling and planning.