How To Let Go During A Crisis Of Infidelity —> The First Step To Saving Your Marriage
What It Actually Means To Let Go
What does letting go mean to you? If you’re like a lot of men, you think letting means that you have to walk away from your wife and marriage (separate or divorce). Or, maybe you’re like so many others, who think that you have to stop caring altogether.
In other words, if you’re like most people, you lack clarity around what it means to let go; and lack of clarity around letting go causes unnecessary pain and suffering during a crisis of infidelity.
Dr. David Hawkins writes in his book, Healing And Recovery, “The only problem is one’s own feelingness. The real problem is not…‘out there’. A person is up against the energy of one’s own feelingness, the overwhelm of the energy…The event is not going to bother us after the feeling state. All that we have to experience through is the acute upsurge and energy of the emotion.”
Dr. Hawkins also writes, “The desire to change what occurred and how we feel about it have to be surrendered. The confrontation is there, and all we can do is say yes to experiencing it through, no matter what the nature is, such as the death of a loved one, divorce, separation, an acute emergency, or a catastrophic injury. All bring about a state of shock that is the same…The shock is the sudden realization of our powerlessness, the fact that the will has met a brick wall, that we are stoppable and have been stopped, and that the personal will cannot have its way. Therefore, the shock and realization of all this is the same in all the experiences, along with the fact that it is unchangeable and permanent. That is the shock. It is as though we have come up full speed against a brick wall, and every time in life when we do this, it releases the same energy field.”
You see, in order to understand what it means to let go, you have to know what you’re actually holding onto. As Dr. Hawkins pointed out, the event isn’t going to bother you after the feeling state. Therefore, what you’re actually holding onto is—the feeling state.
Dr. Hawkins writes, “The desire to change what occurred and how we feel about it have to be surrendered. The confrontation is there, and all we can do is say yes to experiencing it through…”
Men who move through the stages attempt to by-pass feeling the full impact of their painful feelings over the betrayal by focusing on trying to save the marriage. And this is the critical mistake that almost always dooms the marriage.
Do An Honest Assessment. Do You Think You Can Let Go On Your Own?
Do an honest assessment to determine whether you think you can let go on your own. If you’re feeling out of control, and your behavior has become compulsive—don’t put off getting the support and step-by-step direction you need to take the first step in the process of saving your marriage. Contact Ashley to learn more about scheduling a consultation.
If you you haven’t read the Women’s Infidelity books, that’s where you need to start. You’ll find out exactly what your wife is thinking, feeling and planning—so you can stop analyzing—and stop operating from a mindset that leads to divorce. Note: All book orders include a FREE COPY of “Save Your Marriage Now!” (For Men).
Recommended By Counselors And Therapists All Over The World
Women’s Infidelity: Living In Limbo
Learn The REAL Reasons Women Cheat
• Why women lose sexual desire for their husbands
• Why women are more likely than men to become addicted to affair sex
• Why marriage and fidelity can actually be MORE difficult for women than it is for men
• Why women have such a hard time ending and getting over their affairs
• Why women overwhelmingly initiate the majority of all divorces – even when they’re married to good men
• Why and how men unknowingly make the problem worse by doing the opposite of what they need to do to save their marriages
Women’s Infidelity II: Breaking Out Of Limbo
Learn How To Sort Through Your Feelings:
• How to know if your feelings for the other man are real
• How to understand your feelings for your husband – what it really means when you say, “I love him, but I’m not “in” love with him
• How to know if there’s a possibility for a future with the other man
• How to stop your circular thinking
• How to end your confusion and move forward in 7 clearly defined steps
• Men: Learn how women process infidelity. Find out exactly what your wife is thinking and feeling