How To Let Go Without Walking Away During Your Wife's Affair... What Men Must Understand In Order To Create The Possibility For Saving Their Marriages.
Are You Desperately Trying To Hold On To Your Wife?
My male coaching clients are often desperate to save their marriages… and they make this clear from the start. For example, my client Jason (not his real name) contacted Ashley to set up a consultation right after his counselor told him that he needed to let go and stop pursuing his wife.
Jason had been married for 23 years – and when he found out that his wife was having an affair, it didn’t just turn his life upside down – it took his life away. By that, I mean, Jason didn’t know who he was as a separate person from his wife anymore. Jason’s identity had merged with his wife’s over the years; and as a result, Jason lost his ability to function properly when he discovered his wife’s affair.
The idea of letting go was incomprehensible to Jason because he wasn’t capable, yet, of standing on his own two feet emotionally. So when Jason’s counselor told him that the possibility of saving his marriage hinged on him letting go, he started looking for alternates to the solution to his problem.
In fact, shortly into our first conversation, Jason said, “Michelle, I know there must be some way to fix my situation other than walking away.” Unfortunately, like a lot of men who are moving through the stages, Jason wasn’t clear about what it means to let go. And as a result, Jason was confusing letting go with ending his marriage.
This is what I told Jason:
“Jason, letting go doesn’t mean that you need to file for divorce or move out of your house. Letting go simply means that you must relinquish your attachment to the outcome.
Once you’ve relinquished your attachment to the outcome, you’ll no longer be able to experience an emotional “high” from getting what you want or experience an emotional “low” from not getting what you want. But unfortunately, that’s a real problem for a lot of men — because they don’t want to let go of the idea that they’re going to be rescued from their pain by a sweeping rush of relief.
You see, that’s what men who are moving through the stages are really chasing after; they’re chasing after a rush of relief — and chasing after the feeling they *think* they’re going to get from getting what they want is actually what’s preventing them from being able to save their marriages.
So in the simplest terms, you have to reach a state of complete “okayness” with whatever happens — and that’s what most men need help with. They need help stabilizing their emotions.”
I’m happy to report that Jason and his wife have reconciled. But what’s even more important to report is that Jason no longer lives in fear of his wife cheating on him or leaving him — because Jason’s learned how to regulate his emotions.
Do you need help reaching a state of complete “okayness” with whatever happens?
Do An honest Assessment. How Out Of Control Do You Feel?
Do an honest assessment to determine whether you believe you can manage your fear and anxiety on your own. If you’re feeling out of control, and your behavior has become compulsive—don’t put off getting the support and step-by-step direction you need to save your marriage. Contact Ashley to learn more about scheduling a consultation.
If you haven’t read the Women’s Infidelity books, that’s where you need to start. You’ll find out exactly what your wife is thinking, feeling and planning - so you can stop analyzing—and stop operating from a mindset that leads to divorce. Note: All book orders include a FREE COPY of “Save Your Marriage Now!” (For Men).
#1 Source For Information About Female Infidelity
Women’s Infidelity: Living In Limbo
Learn The REAL Reasons Women Cheat, And:
• Why women lose sexual desire for their husbands
• Why women are more likely than men to become addicted to affair sex
• Why marriage and fidelity can actually be MORE difficult for women than it is for men
• Why women have such a hard time getting over their affairs emotionally and psychologically
• Why women overwhelmingly initiate the majority of all divorces – even when they’re married to good men
• Why and how men unknowingly make the problem worse by doing the opposite of what they need to do to save their marriages
Women’s Infidelity II: Breaking Out Of Limbo
Learn How To Sort Through Your Feelings:
• How to know if your feelings for the other man are real
• How to understand your feelings for your husband – what it really means when you say, “I love him, but I’m not “in” love with him
• How to know if there’s a possibility for a future with the other man
• How to stop your circular thinking
• How to end your confusion and move forward in 7 clearly defined steps
• Men: This book is for you, too. In this book you’ll learn how women process infidelity. Find out exactly what your wife is thinking, feeling and planning.