Betrayed Husband —> You Only Have 4 Options After Your Wife Cheats

Which Option Will You Choose?

If you’re like most men after their wives cheat, (and most women when the situation is reversed) you’re struggling with what to do. However, a big part of your struggle stems from the false belief that you have MANY options to choose from—when the reality is —> you only have 4 options:

1. Dominate your partner  2. Submit to your partner  3. End your relationship  4. Grow

If You Become Dominant: If you become dominant, (adopt a “my way or the hi-way” persona) your wife might be intimidated into ending her affair and she may recommit to the marriage (at least temporarily). But your relationship issues will resurface, because the root issues, which are development issues, haven’t been resolved. As Dr. David Schnarch writes in his book, Intimacy & Desire, “Solutions to some problems only exist after we go through them, because our development is the solution.”

If You Become Submissive: If you become submissive, (adopt a pleasing, I love you so much, I’ll do anything to make you happy persona), your wife might be manipulated by guilt into “waiting” to end the marriage; but she will continue to cheat on you and your marriage is almost guaranteed to end (usually within 18-24 months.

If You End The Relationship:  If you end the relationship and don’t unearth the parts of yourself that chose the relationship and “co-created” the relationship issues that you experienced throughout the relationship as well as the issues that you’re currently experiencing now, you’ll recreate the issues in your next relationship. As Gary Zukav explains in his book, Soul to Soul,“…Changing relationships without coming to terms with the parts of your personality that created the relationship is like changing props on a stage. The play continues. Only the scenery is different. When you heal a part of your personality, the play changes. You no longer need an abusive relationship, or a dependent one. You no longer need to dominate another, or to be submissive to another. That part of your journey is complete.” .

If You Choose To Grow: If you choose to grow, your marriage may not only be saved; but it’s likely to become much better than it was before. By better, I mean, you and your wife are likely to forge a deeper bond with each other because you have realized that there’s absolutely no going back to the way things were before.

You see, this is why so many couples split up once they reach a certain point in their relationships —> it’s because they don’t want to go deeper. They don’t want to understand themselves better.They may want to understand their partners better, so they can better predict or control their partners behavior. But they don’t want to see and understand themselves better. They would rather turn around and go backward (start over with a new partner) and keep the game going.

So what choice are you going to make? Are you ready to acknowledge and own the parts of you that are afraid and angry; the parts of you that want to work things out with your wife AND the parts of you that don’t—or—that want to get even with her for betraying you.

Are you ready grow out of the competitive, parent-child relationship model — the relationship model where you’re impressed by people who ignore or mistreat you or who are in some other way unavailable. The model you’re impressed by people who ignore or mistreat you or who are in some other way unavailable.

Do An Honest Assessment. Do You Feel Out Of Control?

Do an honest assessment to determine whether you believe you can manage your fear and anxiety on your own. If you’re feeling out of control, and your behavior has become compulsive—don’t put off getting the support and step-by-step direction you need to save your marriage. Contact Ashley to learn more about scheduling a consultation.

If you haven’t read the Women’s Infidelity books, that’s where you need to start. You’ll find out exactly what your wife is thinking, feeling and planning—so you can stop analyzing—and stop operating from a mindset that leads to divorce. Note: All book orders include a FREE COPY of “Save Your Marriage Now!” (For Men).

Order Women’s Infidelity Now