How To Cope With The Emotional Pain And Stress Of Your Wife's Affair. Find Out Why You 'Literally' Can't Think Straight Since Discovering Your Wife Cheated.
Stress Can Result In A Drain Of More Than 70 Percent Of The Frontal Lobes
As Dawson Church explains in his book, Mind to Matter, “When our consciousness is disrupted by stress…We’re afflicted by “brain fog,”…When we’re upset…we’re easily confused, and our cognitive abilities plummet…We are unable to be objective and consider a problem realistically. Stress can result in a drain of more than 70 percent of the frontal lobes, the cognitive centers of the brain.”
Church also writes, “The parts of the brain tasked with emotional regulation are also the ones that handle working memory…Working memory involves awareness, enabling you to remain focused,,,and to sort relevant from irrelevant information. When your emotions are disturbed, those parts of the brain go offline…You then make poor decisions.”
Unfortunately, most of us were never taught how to regulate our emotions, (at least, not in ways that are healthy and effective). As a result, many of us live our lives at the mercy of external circumstances. Oftentimes, without even knowing how vulnerable we are until a major life crisis hits. That’s why if you’re serious about save your marriage, you’re going to have to learn an effective stress reduction technique to stabilize and regulate your emotions; because the alternative is to continue to spiral down through the stages. You have the power to change the trajectory of your relationship. But only if you’re willing to take the right steps, in the right order.
The Best Stress Reduction Techniques
Deep breathing is one of our body’s strongest self-healing mechanisms. Deep breathing, calms the mind and improves brain functioning. In fact, calming yourself down with a few deep breaths before interacting with your wife is one of the simplest things you can do to begin improving your emotional stability and cognitive functioning.
Instruction: Take three deep conscious breaths before any interaction with your wife; for example, before going into your house after work, before entering a room that your wife is in or before talking to your wife on the phone or sending or replying to her text messages.
In addition, if you get upset or angry during an interaction with your wife just take a deep breath (and if you need to, leave the room) because doing so can prevent you from getting “taken over” by your emotions and prevent further damage to the relationship.
EFT tapping is an alternative acupressure therapy treatment that you do on yourself (instead of needles, you use your fingers to tap on specific points of the body). Unfortunately, it took a long time for me to look into Tapping because I thought it was weird. However, I made this assumption without knowing anything about Tapping. Once you learn a little bit about Tapping it actually makes perfect sense (and there’s plenty of scientific research to back up the benefits). The most rapid benefits I’ve personally experienced are from EFT Tapping.
There’s a tremendous (and growing) amount of research showing that meditation has positive effects on the brain in terms of repair, growth and developing new neurocircuitry. If you don’t know much about meditation and would like to learn more about meditation, I recommend Dan Harris’s book, Meditation for Fidgety Skeptics. Dan Harris is a news anchor for Good Morning America. Dan suffered a panic attack during a news segment while he was reporting live on the air and the incident prompted his research and practice of meditation. Dan’s books on mediation are informative, easy to understand and also very entertaining.
If you’re not exercising (especially walking)on a regular basis now is the time to start. Regular exercise helps maintain not only good physical, but also good mental health. The way you think and feel changes when you exercise because chemicals (endorphins) get released in the brain; and these chemicals have a positive impact on your mood. In addition, exercise also produces hormones that can improve sleep; and difficulty with sleeping is a common problem for men after discovering their wives affair.
If you’re already exercising, consider adding a 15 to thirty minute walk to your daily regimen. Walking in particular can be extremely beneficial in reducing stress. In fact, a daily fifteen minute walk (outside in nature) can immediately begin the process of healing because spending time in nature harmonizes our system. In addition, researchers have found that the foot’s impact during walking sends pressure waves through the arteries that significantly modify and increase the supply of blood to the brain. So there’s a reason people have always said, “take a walk” when you’re upset – it’s because taking a walk makes our brain function better.
Do An Honest Assessment. Do You Feel Out Of Control?
Men often know what they need to do, but they have difficulty remaining consistent in their efforts because their emotions are constantly getting triggered by their wives’ behavior. If you’re moving through the stages, it’s crucial that you do an honest assessment to determine whether you can manage your anxiety and get your emotions under control on your own. If you’re feeling out of control and your behavior has become compulsive—don’t put off getting the help you need. Contact Ashley to learn more about scheduling a consultation.
If you haven’t read the Women’s Infidelity books, that’s where you need to start. You’ll find out exactly what your wife is thinking, feeling and planning - so you can stop analyzing—and stop operating from a disadvantaged mindset — because a disadvantaged (subordinate) mindset leads to divorce).
Note: All book orders include a FREE COPY of “Save Your Marriage Now!” (for men).
#1 Source For Information About Female Infidelity
Women’s Infidelity: Living In Limbo
Learn The REAL Reasons Women Cheat, And:
• Why women lose sexual desire for their husbands
• Why women are more likely than men to become addicted to affair sex
• Why marriage and fidelity can actually be MORE difficult for women than it is for men
• Why women have such a hard time getting over their affairs emotionally and psychologically
• Why women overwhelmingly initiate the majority of all divorces – even when they’re married to good men
• Why and how men unknowingly make the problem worse by doing the opposite of what they need to do to save their marriages
Women’s Infidelity II: Breaking Out Of Limbo
Learn How To Sort Through Your Feelings:
• How to know if your feelings for the other man are real
• How to understand your feelings for your husband – what it really means when you say, “I love him, but I’m not “in” love with him
• How to know if there’s a possibility for a future with the other man
• How to stop your circular thinking
• How to end your confusion and move forward in 7 clearly defined steps
• Men: Learn how women process infidelity. Find out exactly what your wife is thinking and feeling